I’ve been holding back on writing this post because of the intensity of the dreams I’ve been having. But God, has shown me that it is so important to share our dreams because it tells a lot about what our subconscious holds and interprets from our conscious thoughts.

I will spare you all the intimate details, but I have always had very vivid dreams. Since being on psychotropic medication, my dreams have become even more vivid (I didn’t think that was even possible) and a lot more fear-based. Many of the themes are overlapping and certainly are based upon truth, but the severity to which I am harmed in my dreams wakes me up in such a panic. Usually I am aware that I am dreaming, but it is as if I cannot get myself out of the dream…am I the only one who experiences this sort of paralysis in sleep? It can be so scary! And not to mention–paralyzing!

Anyway, my dreams generally revolve around the theme of being harmed and severely, disturbingly, physically, emotionally and sexually abused by various men. There is a lot of frightening scenes in which these are various different types of men, but more often now than usual, by my father. This really freaks me out because I wake up with such resentment and anger towards him and men in general. Although I know these specific things did not happen in reality, I believe there is a lot of things parallel that resinate with my life and fears that are instilled in me to this day.

As I process more and more trauma in therapy, from childhood, from my dad, and from other traumatic and abuse relationships with men, the more these dreams occur. They seem to have gotten worse. They happen almost every night. I don’t have happy dreams. All really dark, somber and heavy. It is depressing. But, I believe my mind is trying to process all of the hurt, subconsciously. The human brain is so fascinating. I won’t even nerd out on all the amazing things it does, but I find it incredible how we as humans are built and how God created us as such unique and intrinsic creatures on this Earth.

I don’t know if I am speaking for myself, but I really want to know what my dreams mean. I have thought about looking into a dream book to kind of understand the thematic meanings better.

Anyone struggle with the same things?


Below is a song by Billy Joel. Although he claims to be an atheist, I find it amazing how truly biblical some of the lyrics are. As he is referring to dreams he has, he references Psalms and just how important this is to mankind. Listen and enjoy!




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